I like long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners….

Mark put up an ad on Monster a week or so ago for a senior developer position in our company and got a huge amount of applications. I must say, I always thought it would be fun to go through the process of hiring someone, screening the resumes, finding the perfect candidate, having the power to change someone’s life, you know…that type of thing.

In reality, I looked through about 3 resumes, staring blankly at the seemingly random combination of capital letters describing the various technologies people were familiar with before handing the pile of 80 or so back to Mark and saying “I really have no clue”.

All I really would like to know are the following:

1. Do you know the stuff we need you to know? (a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ will do here, I really don’t care for a long-winded answer describing everything you’ve done for the last 5 years)
2. Are you willing to work for what we’re going to pay you?
3. Are you easily offended by profanities?
4. Do you drink? (the correct answer to this question, by the way, is ‘yes’)

Hopefully we’ll find someone who’s not totally lame and actually knows what they’re doing. A surprisingly difficult combination to find in programmers.

Ok, really it’s not that surprising.

My favourite response was the e-mail that consisted only of one line of text:
“I’m interested. more details about you gets more details about me…”

Oh god, this isn’t going to be easy.

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